Animal Stories: Life, Loss, and Love
If we have
animals, we have stories. Years ago, I was standing in line at the grocery
store behind a woman who placed innumerable cans of cat food and a large bag of
kitty litter onto the conveyor belt. I leaned over to her, pointed to the items,
and said, “Someone is going to be very happy.” This one statement set off a
monologue, which included several pictures of the beloved felines inches from
my face. The woman continued to give details on their ages, names, and the
dates they became members of her family. I’m not sure that the people behind us
appreciated it, but I understood. That easily could have been me sharing about
our two kitty boys, Rutherford and Monkey (all gray.)
What is(are)
one of your favorite stories about your beloved animal?
From a
sociological perspective, our idea of family has changed. The previously known
“family pet” is now a full-fledged member of our families. According to
American Pet Products Association, in 2015 Americans spent $60.28 billion on
pet food, toys, care and services, with a projected $62.75B in 2016. (http://www.americanpetproducts.org/press_industrytrends.asp)
Billion, with a B. This number
has increased every year since 2001, even during the recession.
But we don’t
need all that to tell us what we already know: Animals are important family
members and loyal companions on Life’s journey.
They play so
many roles: beasts of our burdens, loyal companions, running partners, sources
of unending laughter and joy, furry places for us to rest our teary faces. They
are the silent, unacknowledged participants in the ups and downs of Life.
That isn’t
to say that they’re perfect.
Just darn
near close.
The flip
side of this is that we bond with them knowing on some deep, unconscious level
that we will see their death. Unfortunately this is a unique situation since we
don’t approach other relationships this way. They just don’t live as long as we
would want.
When an
animal dies, some people are surprised at their feelings. I’ve had many share
with me that they didn’t cry when their grandma, uncle, or even a parent died.
But when a beloved animal died, the wind was completely knocked out of them. It’s
natural to turn inward when grieving. However, if kept unchecked, this can
easily morph into isolation.
Interesting
fact: when a person experiences emotional pain, similar parts of the brain will
light up as if he or she is actually experiencing physical pain. So, when we
say, “I miss him so much it hurts,” it really does.
As a
counselor with a specialty in pet loss, and someone who has lost many animals, the
desire to write a book about pet loss was always a goal of mine. After losing a
beloved pet in grad school, I remembered what one of my professors said, “Don’t
do nothing (with grief.)”
So, ever the
devoted student, I delved into the Internet, finding as many books and research
articles on the subject as I could. Although my search came up somewhat scarce,
I copied the articles I could find and stood back, proud of my newfound labeled
and neatly stacked folders.
And they
just sat there.
Collecting
dust.
For years.
It wasn’t
until the time around the anniversary of our Kimball Kitty’s death (pictured
below, who is featured in my book) when it hit me:
Make it
fiction.
From the second
this “a-ha moment” occurred, a new energy and trajectory took its course.
The big irony
in all of this is that, for most of my life, I only read non-fiction. This
included when I was a child, when I was more interested in psychology and
physiology than any elementary school reading list. So I know that my book came
from something larger than myself.
So without
further ado: inspired by the myriad of my own animal stories, Buried Deep in Our Hearts was created, a
novel that celebrates our connection to our animals and honors their memory. Divided
into three sections, it follows three major characters with a dog, cat and
horse storyline that converge. Although the name of the town has changed, the
setting is my hometown of Midland, Michigan. Resources, as well as book club
discussion questions, are included. (As an educator, I couldn’t not have
questions!) After 3.5 years, this is the closest I’ll ever get to giving birth.
My intention
was to create an ultimately uplifting book honoring all the animals that have
touched my heart that normalizes grief and illustrates universality. I’m hoping
it will be helpful to you, too, and allows you to relate, reminisce, and
reflect about your animals. Because, in the end, none of us are immune from
this loss. The heart-wrenching sadness;
the guilt; the loss, sometimes appearing to come out of nowhere. I still choke back tears whenever I think of
all the animals who are no longer here.
We’ve
all been there; you’re not alone.
However, their
short sweet lives can inspire us to be better people. And, they provide us with
so many rich stories.
The one
thing we can count on is that the love we give to them is returned.
In spades.
To purchase a copy of Buried
Deep in Our Hearts: https://www.amazon.com/Buried-Deep-Hearts-Tracie-Barton-Barrett/dp/0997025905/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1484707593&sr=8-1&keywords=buried+deep+in+our+hearts
With so much dividing us, animals
connect us. Tracie Barton-Barrett, a psychology instructor, Licensed
Professional Counselor and animal enthusiast has counseled, facilitated support
groups, and presented and written articles on the subject of pet loss. Her debut
novel, Buried Deep in Our Hearts, is
now available on Amazon. She and her husband live in North Carolina and are
owned by their two cats: Rutherford B. Barrett and Oliver Monkey. www.AnimalsConnectUs.com AnimalsConnectUs@gmail.com
