Animal Stories: Life, Loss, and Love

If we have animals, we have stories. Years ago, I was standing in line at the grocery store behind a woman who placed innumerable cans of cat food and a large bag of kitty litter onto the conveyor belt. I leaned over to her, pointed to the items, and said, “Someone is going to be very happy.” This one statement set off a monologue, which included several pictures of the beloved felines inches from my face. The woman continued to give details on their ages, names, and the dates they became members of her family. I’m not sure that the people behind us appreciated it, but I understood. That easily could have been me sharing about our two kitty boys, Rutherford and Monkey (all gray.)

What is(are) one of your favorite stories about your beloved animal?    

From a sociological perspective, our idea of family has changed. The previously known “family pet” is now a full-fledged member of our families. According to American Pet Products Association, in 2015 Americans spent $60.28 billion on pet food, toys, care and services, with a projected $62.75B in 2016. (http://www.americanpetproducts.org/press_industrytrends.asp) Billion, with a B. This number has increased every year since 2001, even during the recession.

But we don’t need all that to tell us what we already know: Animals are important family members and loyal companions on Life’s journey.

They play so many roles: beasts of our burdens, loyal companions, running partners, sources of unending laughter and joy, furry places for us to rest our teary faces. They are the silent, unacknowledged participants in the ups and downs of Life.

That isn’t to say that they’re perfect.

Just darn near close.

The flip side of this is that we bond with them knowing on some deep, unconscious level that we will see their death. Unfortunately this is a unique situation since we don’t approach other relationships this way. They just don’t live as long as we would want.

When an animal dies, some people are surprised at their feelings. I’ve had many share with me that they didn’t cry when their grandma, uncle, or even a parent died. But when a beloved animal died, the wind was completely knocked out of them. It’s natural to turn inward when grieving. However, if kept unchecked, this can easily morph into isolation.

Interesting fact: when a person experiences emotional pain, similar parts of the brain will light up as if he or she is actually experiencing physical pain. So, when we say, “I miss him so much it hurts,” it really does. 

As a counselor with a specialty in pet loss, and someone who has lost many animals, the desire to write a book about pet loss was always a goal of mine. After losing a beloved pet in grad school, I remembered what one of my professors said, “Don’t do nothing (with grief.)”

So, ever the devoted student, I delved into the Internet, finding as many books and research articles on the subject as I could. Although my search came up somewhat scarce, I copied the articles I could find and stood back, proud of my newfound labeled and neatly stacked folders.  

And they just sat there.

Collecting dust.

For years.

It wasn’t until the time around the anniversary of our Kimball Kitty’s death (pictured below, who is featured in my book) when it hit me:

Make it fiction.

From the second this “a-ha moment” occurred, a new energy and trajectory took its course.

The big irony in all of this is that, for most of my life, I only read non-fiction. This included when I was a child, when I was more interested in psychology and physiology than any elementary school reading list. So I know that my book came from something larger than myself.

So without further ado: inspired by the myriad of my own animal stories, Buried Deep in Our Hearts was created, a novel that celebrates our connection to our animals and honors their memory. Divided into three sections, it follows three major characters with a dog, cat and horse storyline that converge. Although the name of the town has changed, the setting is my hometown of Midland, Michigan. Resources, as well as book club discussion questions, are included. (As an educator, I couldn’t not have questions!) After 3.5 years, this is the closest I’ll ever get to giving birth.

My intention was to create an ultimately uplifting book honoring all the animals that have touched my heart that normalizes grief and illustrates universality. I’m hoping it will be helpful to you, too, and allows you to relate, reminisce, and reflect about your animals. Because, in the end, none of us are immune from this loss.  The heart-wrenching sadness; the guilt; the loss, sometimes appearing to come out of nowhere.  I still choke back tears whenever I think of all the animals who are no longer here.  

We’ve all been there; you’re not alone.

However, their short sweet lives can inspire us to be better people. And, they provide us with so many rich stories.

The one thing we can count on is that the love we give to them is returned.

In spades.

To purchase a copy of Buried Deep in Our Hearts: https://www.amazon.com/Buried-Deep-Hearts-Tracie-Barton-Barrett/dp/0997025905/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1484707593&sr=8-1&keywords=buried+deep+in+our+hearts

With so much dividing us, animals connect us. Tracie Barton-Barrett, a psychology instructor, Licensed Professional Counselor and animal enthusiast has counseled, facilitated support groups, and presented and written articles on the subject of pet loss. Her debut novel, Buried Deep in Our Hearts, is now available on Amazon. She and her husband live in North Carolina and are owned by their two cats: Rutherford B. Barrett and Oliver Monkey. www.AnimalsConnectUs.com AnimalsConnectUs@gmail.com